To the point where everything I knew, who I thought I was, where I thought I was going have all completely and totally changed. Most importantly, events that have happened that I thought I was over, come to find out I really wasn't. Holding back all those feelings only made them drown me in emotion and fall deeper & deeper into the places I fought for so long to stay out of. It's so scary to me to think that I am so totally different than I was a few months ago. Months that felt like years now they seem so short. Someone I felt like I knew forever is now gone, erased out of my life and I can't even begin to explain the hurt I feel every moment of every day. This isn't some teenage heartbreak, oh I wanted to marry him, this is real adulthood dreams shattered.... All of this fairy tale dreaming, thinking everything could get better is a load of bull. Reality hit and boy did it hit hard.
Change is usually a good thing and I am truly happy for most of the changes I've gone through, I guess I just wish there were certain people still apart of my life to see those changes and want to be apart of my life.
done rambling, night.
